Women are stunning, majestic creatures, but we also do really bizarre stuff, like, all the time. I’m sure all women do this or have done this at least once. And if you say no, you’re lying.
1. Being extra horny in the morning when you wake up and have to pee.
2. Hiding your panties inside your clothes at the gyno’s office.
3. Doing more squats to stretch out freshly washed jeans than you do at the gym.
4. Also wearing those same jeans for like 2 weeks without washing them. Unless they are obviously stained/dirty. Well, sometimes even then…
5. Sitting in a strange position when farting so the fart bubble does not go up your cooch.
6. Doing shower math when you wake up to see how long you have to sleep or to find out if it’s even worth showering (because you could just go back to bed and put your hair in a bun).
7. Also negotiating with yourself about who you’re going to see that day and if it’s okay if you look kind of gross in front of them… If there is even a 1% chance of bumping into your ex, you get in that shower.
8. When trying to poop in public you pretend you’re not in the stall and go dead silent if someone comes in. You will not poop until they’ve left the bathroom – unless you’ve mastered the flush and poop (hold down the handle while pooping).