Welcome to the secret life of women. A secret land where they don’t have to be the perfect little princess that society tells them to be. They can be their real selves. Their stinky, hungry selves. Their silly, loud, shameless selves. All without wearing a bra or squeezing their butts into impossibly small spans. This secret world gentlemen, is what happens when women are alone. If you feel brave enough to wander into this dark world, don’t be afraid if you come across something scary, thats just us wearing face masks and cutting our toenails.
We Check Out Our Butts
Whenever we walk by a mirror, we have to look in it just to check in to make sure we are still looking fly as hell, and well, we always are. But whenever we are alone and near a mirror we always do a booty check. Got to look at the goods and work with what we got.
We Make Weird Faces In The Mirror
Everyone likes to look at themselves in the mirror, it’s like checking in with an alien who you hang out with all the time but don’t actually see. We women are so busy making sure our faces are picture perfect that we don’t have time to let loose, except alone in the mirror where we let all our weird hang out.
We Give Ourselves Pep Talks
Before any big event, like a first date, or a meeting with the president, us women like to give ourselves a good old fashioned pep talk to make sure we are ready to rise to the occasion. We may look and feel a little crazy talking to ourselves but it gives us the confidence we need to shine.